Did you miss me?

May 31st, 2010

Well here I am, writing again. It’s been a while… 4 years or so. I hope you haven’t missed me too much.

What can I tell you that has happened in the passed 4 years?

  • Well, stayed in university to study Architecture, I failed.
  • I’ve been single since Natti. Fail.
  • I’m going to be 30 this year. Hmm.
  • I’ve owned, 8 motorbikes since 1st of December 2005. :D
  • I’ve travelled 2 big-ish road trips on motorbikes one to Scandinavia, another round the north of Spain. Yes!
  • I’m currently planning to ride down to Cape Town later this year. Bonus.
  • I’m still writing lists!

So clearly it’s a good time to be back and writing this blog. 😀


No One Else

March 12th, 2006

You know that song… by a band named Weezer… on their Blue album…

Any ideas why this song sounds like it’s dropping gears on a bike at the beginning? There are lots of motorcycle connotations throughout the verses. It sounds like each verse is approaching a set of traffic lights with the gear drops. Then followed by several gear changes upward during the verse. Oh, and the drum resembles the revving, especially during those small drum rolls.

It is a great song to listen to when you’re riding… try it some day.

Bike is Built

March 9th, 2006

I’ve spent the day again slaving out in the rain and cold to get that bike built. Success, it is complete (apart from some fairing). Only waiting for the battery to charge up now, and then see what happens. I suspect the engine has seized due to the prolonged time of it sitting static, I have my ideas on this.. let you know next week.

Recent picture:

Easy Come! Easy Go!

March 8th, 2006

I’ve been having a nothing period lately; nothing substantial not even the contract on the door really inspires me to really do anything. The migranes come randomly and the sore head syndrome is a regular feeling, when I’m not writhing in the pain.

Bits and pieces of things to write come, but, as soon and easy as they occur they diminish. I feel like I’m at constant war with myself, trying to actively remember the things I’ve forgotten, I’m finding the only way to keep tuned-in during my lectures is by turning the lecture into a conversation with the lecturer. Must irritate the hell out of everyone else, but I can’t seem to concentrate at all on anything sometimes I can’t even concentrate enough to remember to concentrate… “Ha! get out of that one!“.

*wanders off*

Topical thoughts:

The Contract on the Door

March 3rd, 2006

I am absolutely pointedly and unavoidably devastated by the total lack of respect for my front door. Zealously, these imbeciles come to my door in tribute to its existence, bringing their offerings to free their trapped souls (I assume). Their offerings are left by submitting pieces of paper in my letter box.

It occurred to me today, that the only way around my predicament of door abuse would be to attach a contract to the door itself. As I took a walk in the park I started piecing the contract together and it goes something on the lines of:


This contract hereby agrees that yourself & your employing body will forfeit 1% of last years gross annual turnover unto myself after 14 days from which time you agree the terms of contract for the single use of the letter flap in this doorway.

This contract cannot apply to postal workers, working for HM Elizabeth II (whilst on duty) or neighbours (returning misdelivered mail or notes). All other personell are eligible.

This contract is to be agreed by conduct or in writting to this address delivered by a postal worker.
By conduct: identifies the use of the letter flap on this door; upon submitting promotional material through the letter flap, this contract has been agreed.

Written cancellation must be made and delivered by a postal worker (working for HM Elizabeth I I only), within 14 days from which time the agreement of this contract agreed. The cancellation must identify which occurance of contract (if multiple contracts have been agreed) is to be cancelled.


I would consequently need to rig a couple of cameras and sensors by the door to record both the time and the proof that the contract was read and agreed. The second camera would be good to be on the inside of the door to register what was submitted at what time.

Before any of you begin to state the obvous: “Most of these idiots cannot speak English”. I am fully aware of it, it is their lack of discipline to submit something where there is writting. Oh and finally, I don’t expect anyone to want to submit anything through my door, but should they… I’ll be entitled to 1% of their gross annual turnover.

It was only when I arrived at home that it occurred to me that I should also form up a contract for people who wish to knock on my door, I’ll formulate one for that later.


A Boy Named Sue

February 27th, 2006

From the few songs I knew sung by Johnny Cash I had liked and given the enjoyment factor of the film Walk the Line, I decided to get some more tracks to see if liked them as much.

I came across “A Boy Named Sue“, and it brought me to wonder what it is about fathers that leave psychological mechanisms that cause us to strive to what we become. I know my father has done his fair share of remote manipulation and I know a fair share of other people who’ve had their wires tinkered with too. Is this not a coincidence or is it to be something we should learn to accept?

The song is great, give it a listen!

Walk The Line (2005)

February 25th, 2006

Scenario: Saturday evening, no friends, no money, nothing to do (except for maybe 10,000 assignments/reports/courseworks). So I sat myself down at my compy and watched “Walk the Line”.

I’d admit that that scenario is nothing new.

The film, which acts as a biography of Johnny Cash’s life is as you would expect biographical, containing many songs you’d expect to have heard by Johnny Cash… OK!!! I’ll cut to the chase, there was nothing particularly good about it. However, it was enjoyable and Joaquin Pheonix and Reese Witherspoon acted well and kept you gripped with the story.

It probably wont be anything you’ll want to re-watch, but will make a time killer.

Perspective Transposition

February 24th, 2006

I have always tried to explain to people how I managed to get myself out of my depressions, alone and without help from medication or therapy (I will refer to my depression as “my darkest hour” to annoy those who know a song by that name). Generally, when I begin to explain, I tend to say that mathematics got me out of it; and by that I meant, I transposed those things I couldn’t explain to myself with things I did understand. The upshot of this is that your point of view, or opinion isn’t lost; for example: When you get your downers and feel worthless. By convention there is someone there talking you out of it, telling you the opposite, and how much you matter to the world.

However, the fact never changes that when you are down and feeling worthless is because you are worthless, but in turn is probably the most honest time you will ever have. By having someone whispering lies into your ear to stop you thinking about the honesty you’re confronting, really is not productive in my point of view. By transposing it all about, to make sense of why you are worthless you begin find what you are dealing with, then you can work out how to not be whatever it is you are. Generally, this is by stop moping about and whining repeatedly about your perpetuating problems, it also tends to have a lot to do with actually looking beyond the immediate ground you’re standing upon and looking forward.

This article isn’t about how to be a positive thinker and how to achieve your goals; I merely wanted to add that foreword to this prior to going on to saying what I wanted to get across.

By convention, there are two types of thinkers: the optimist and the pessimist. You also have two points of view: left and right. Types of thinkers, albeit optimists and pessimists see the same opportunity in the same way although to their understanding, favour the odds being inclined to which ever direction they are inclined to be thinking: positive/negative. This however, is not a problem. Some prefer security over chance. Whilst neither are correct, either can correct their point of view by balancing their inclination. As stated before, when you’re in your darkest hour you tend to be the most honest with yourself. Transposing a perspective is not something you can just do at a flick-of-a-switch; it requires you to profoundly reach into your core and ignore all the complexities that have built your mindset into viewing your given opportunity they way you do, in essence, you want to adopt the eyes of a child by ignoring preferences.

I’ll digress a little to talk about something else. The thing I really wanted to chant on and on about was how saying: “I am worthless” is a statement of value… bit like saying in programming:

Personal_value = Null;

In programming, the statement of value does nothing, much like repeating to yourself how you are worthless. In fact being worthless (as a value) is a bit like starting out on a blank canvas, you have an entire surface to cover and nothing to obstruct the continuety. In a way I envy those who feel worthless it is so liberating.

I think I’m loosing the direction again. Right, let me break it down: you are worthless and you want to be worth more than nothing. This gives us a starting and ending point, the middle point is the bit you need to learn how to work out.

Personal_value = Null; //starting point
Personal_goal = "greatness"; //ending pointPersonal_value + (something) = Personal_goal;

Well if you’re a primary school kid, you may sit there looking at the problem over and over again and not figure that one out, but transpositioning is rather simple, turn things about to find the unknown; as thus:

Personal_value + (something) = Personal_goal;

Starting formulae, by subtracting both sides by the Personal_value, you’ll eliminate it from the left hand side.

Personal_value + (something) - Personal_value = Personal_goal - Personal_value;

Consequently you’ll have your answer

(something) = Personal_goal - Personal_value;

If you actually consider that Personal_value has actually a value of nothing, the goal is the (something) in the middle you couldn’t work out; there is no middle step between you and your final objective, the only thing in the way is: you, holding yourself back.

Whilst trying to write this article the idea has occured to me: that you negate whatever your preference is, and aim for the opposite. Which is somewhat nihilist (and by that I do not mean Neilist), the upshot of this is to achieve answers you’d not allow yourself to calculate following your normal mind set. Much like looking at an opportunity through the eyes of a child, you have no favour or bias to your answer except for that which seems the most logical.

It has taken me all week to finish writing this article and I am still not happy with it. However, with my shortness of concentration it is the best I could achieve.

That Bike I’ve been Working on…

February 17th, 2006

On Thursday, despite not having the weather in my favour or my health, the sun came out and my pain subsided for a short while, enough for me to go and work on that bike I’ve been ranting on and on about. The bike was left for dead about 10 years ago when Darren (the previous owner and my sister’s boyfriend) had left it without using it for over a year, without having turned the fuel tap off. Although that wasn’t the major issue, the bike had also developed a block carbs from the fuel sedimenting inside it. The battery is shot, the fuel tank is rusty and the pistons are probably welded to the cylinders with muck and rust; but I am determined to get it going.

Thursday was the first major step in this determination, I fitted the carbs, tested the electrics and fitted some of the parts back on. I’m just looking to get the tank clean, a new battery and some more tender loving care before I see if I can get the baby to turn over.

Here is a picture of her:


More pictures available in the album.

I’m Tired, So Tired…

February 15th, 2006

I’m sorry I’ve not written much lately kidos. I have had a migrane for the past two weeks, not like my usual ones though, I’m sleeping a lot. I’ve been put on a prescription of preventative medication which only numbs the pain but doesn’t take away the pressure; the other migrane attack medication I’ve been given only makes the whole experience more vivid and after giving it a shot on Sunday, I ended up taking myself to hospital on Monday and was discharged that night after trying a whole cocktail of analgesics which did not thwart the crushing feeling in my skull, I was even put on a drip for a few hours to see if that would rock my world… alas it didn’t.

Besides that, everything else is peachy; my concentration span is down by 50% taking it down to 1.5 seconds opposed to the 3 seconds I had before.

(Allow me to save you the effort: “…1…2…3…awwwwww poor Neil!“, there!)

Life sucks!